Hard to Get

I have been fascinated by the music and life of Rich Mullins since
learning of his tragic and unexpected death in 1997.  I'm not sure
why he has held such a fascination for me, except that he lived his
life and his faith with such passion and purpose, and the lyrics of
his music are so profound.  He also never held back from speaking
truths, even when it created controversy.  He was an amazing man, and
God used him powerfully during his time on this earth.

A few of his songs have been like healing water to my parched soul
during this recent time of crisis in my life. They speak to deep parts
of my heart in ways I would not have even understood without his music.


This one, "Hard to Get", helps me articulate some of the struggles I have
had with my faith during this time. But, it also speaks to the deep truth that
even when we don't understand God, He is still with us. That brings me great
comfort.


These are the lyrics:




You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt
Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said
Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath
While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then
Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this, somehow
All I really need to know
Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead
And we can not get free of what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led
And so You've been here all along I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get