Success Number One

I am taking the advice of a dear, dear, dear friend :-) and writing some blog entries about the successes I have had during this past year of my life. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that taking this friend's advice is usually a really smart thing to do.

The first success I identified is that:

I WAS ABLE TO TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF MY KIDS AND MY HOME WHILE IN THE MIDST OF A CRISIS IN MY LIFE.

This is no small thing.

Anyone who has been in emotional crisis, or experienced emotional trauma, knows that your normal ability to cope and function becomes severely limited. You are not able to think as clearly, make decisions, nor act on those decisions like you normally would. Most people lose motivation and depression is very common.

I did struggle with all of that.

There were many, many, many days when all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and wish the world away.

But I didn't.

At the forefront of my mind through it all was a consistent thought, "I need to make sure my kids are going to be o.k." None of this was their fault and they did not deserve any of it. And, I knew that no matter how I felt, I needed to be o.k. for them.

Did I do a perfect job? Of course not. My home was not as clean as it normally would have been. Laundry piled up more, important things got forgotten more than they should have.

But, to the best of my ability, despite what was happening to me beyond my control, I did a great job.

Our daily routines were maintained. My family had nutritious meals to eat, clean clothes to wear, and a clean home to live in. My kids could still talk to me about whatever was going on in their lives and they were also still disciplined when it was needed.

I am a good mom.

I always have been, and that did not change during the darkest time in my life. And I pray I always will be. Because I have fantastic kids, and they deserve that.

And I deserve to recognize and honor myself for that.